Introducing … the “I Missed the 90s Movie Club!”

90s

I am the baby of five.  My siblings are 13, 11, 10 and 4 years older than I am.

Therefore, much of my childhood was heavily influenced by my older brothers and sister.

This means my oldest brother purchased a DirecTV All-Day-Ticket of “Pulp Fiction” when I was 6 … and it played ALL DAY.  And when I attempted to watch “Pocahontas”, my loving brothers mercilessly tore apart the historical inaccuracies of this cinematic gem until I got up and turned it off.

I was 7.

This also means that when the time came that I finally got to control the remote, I devoured trashy TV (“Laguna Beach” anyone?) and still enjoy BAD entertainment to this day.  If given the choice, I will happily snuggle in with some “Bridezillas” or maybe a little “Hoarders”.  SUCK IT, SIBS.

However, I have recently come to realize that I am unaware of an entire, seemingly influential, era of films — late 80s and early 90s masterpieces.

“Home Alone”  sounds like bad parenting and even worse Edvard Munch impersonations.  For some reason Robin Williams is a woman in “Mrs. Doubtfire” … I’m sure there’s a good girdle joke in there?  “Back to the Future” appears to have a lot of yelling?  “Jurassic Park” sounds like an altogether terrible idea.   “Twister”?  Flying cow.

So now, as a 26-year-old and possessing control of both my own television and feminine wiles to get The Boss to watch all of this with me– I prepare to embark on a 90s pop culture crash course.  SOMEONE GET ME A SCRUNCHIE.

goonies

The first movie:  “The Goonies”

What I think I know about this movie : Nothing.  I am completely baffled by this movie.  Everyone I have asked about it speaks reverently. I always thought it was about tiny boys who delivered the mail and then there are gross monsters?   And dancing?  I have no idea what’s going on … join me.