Vacation To-Do List: Annotated

Change name on ticket

There are still plenty of things that call me Mrs. Hamilton.  Servers when they return my credit card.  When my dry cleaner pulls up my account.  This airplane ticket.

It feels like giving blood.

The initial bite. Then the steady burn as warmth flows away.

Get Beef groomed

Little Dog is currently a mop and seems to have magnetic powers, but instead of metal she attracts all grime and vegetation.  Girl needs a groom, badly.  It’s important the Fillmore ladies look our best when we have guests.

Clean apartment/Laundry

That guest is my selfless friend who has agreed to house-sit for me while I’m away.  This is going to save me an unbelievable amount of money and anxiety. I still cannot believe I have found people throughout my life who will postpone their life to maintain mine.  Kati — you’re the best.

Buy wireless headphones

Felt like this was a necessity during this trip.  People keep asking me exactly HOW LONG IS THIS FLIGHT but that is something I don’t know because A) time zones are super confusing and involve math and B) why would I want to torture myself with that detail?!

This item has also already been accomplished but it feels nice to cross something off so there.

WiFi install

Delayed this task for one week because I was too intimidated.  Well, 1 year, 4 months and 1 week.

Some of my mantras for dealing with my divorce and relocation flooded back when dealing with this WiFi decision.  Namely, “dumber people than you have figured this out.”

But this is still one of those remaining Honey-Do’s that I have avoided in the past 18 months +.  It is still arduous to do these things alone, when you had confidently categorized these things as outside the traditional gender role of your comfortable marriage.  Didn’t I have a husband to do this?  How will I ever navigate yet another task I was never supposed to handle?  I remember crying in a Verizon only weeks after he left.  I remember sobbing in my U-Haul while on the phone with my friend in Minnesota because … HOW DO YOU BUY A CAR?!

I know he has these too.  Since we separated he has asked me where the title to his motorcycle was and, What is a reasonable price for meat?  Our divorce was an earthquake and these are the fissure lines.

Send Father’s Day/birthday cards

This is a reminder for you too.  Getting mail you want to open is unstoppable joy.  Getting to send mail telling your loved ones they are remembered and cared about is the bliss of being human.

Buy international charger thing

You know those plug adapters that allege you can plug your essential electronics in to any plug around the world?  These little assholes have successfully zapped a hair dryer and curling iron (England 2009 when I still thought bringing things like hair dryers and curling irons was needed for international travel HAHAHA) and my laptop (Europe 2010 when I NEEDED to talk to my new boyfriend who would become my husband instead of enjoying my multi-country European trip HAHAHAHA).

Should I even buy one of these things?  Is it a racket?  Do I have any electronics I need to bring along?  Will my phone somehow charge me exorbitant sums for having my phone on just to take pictures while out of the country?  Can you ever truly find the answers to these questions?

Book hotel for first two nights

I haven’t made any plans for this trip.  It’s too brutal.

This trip was supposed to be my delayed honeymoon slash celebration of five years of marriage slash meeting my New Zealand family for the first time.

It is none of those things.

I’m not sure what it is now.  All I know is I am both avoiding and showing up.

I am avoiding by making only the bare minimum decisions and relinquishing control to anything and everything else for this mess.

But I’m still showing up.  I will be on time for my flight on the 14th.  The idea of throwing this airfare away never occurred to me.  I wasn’t able to have say in my marriage, but my honeymoon will be on my terms, even if it looks incomplete.

Send itinerary to loved ones

I’m a bit of a Calamity Jane while traveling, so better do this.  I mean, who crashes their car during their cross-country wedding road trip and gets strep throat in London and sleeps in the O’Hare bus terminal with their belongings down their pants and sneaks onto a train in Paris after missing their flight and takes a $12 truck stop shower their first night as a resident of California?

Yeah, that’s me.  So … need to send that email.

Pay credit card bill

This will be accomplished using a combination of the last funds from my unemployment and a loan from my parents.  Another reminder that I am going on this fabulous trip only because of the stability of my former life.

Figure out logistics for return flight

Ummmm …. who wants to shelter this jet-lagged ass?


My other post about my honeymoon can be found here.

Travel advice for me?  Leave a comment below!

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