“you’re normal. not very bright, but normal.”

Things I am taking advantage of in my last few weeks as a college student:

1. magical money in the form of my ID card

2. no pants.  EVER.

3. someone else cleaning my bathroom

4. someone else cooking for me

5. pop tarts

Things I am taking advantage of before I move in with a persnickety partner

1. eating in bed

2. searing hot showers

3. sleeping without a fan

4. sorted laundry

5. my cheap, mostly ineffectual but nostalgic silverware and cooking utensils

Things I will not miss about college life:

1. communal living

2. the child-like atmosphere

3. moodle

4. bowing down to the maniacal demons in the cafeteria

5. pretending to care about petty problems, punctuation booklets or Protestantism

Things that make A wonderful:

1. unconditional caring

2. brilliant curiosity

3. unyielding support and enthusiasm

4. bonehead sense of humor

5. great ass

Things that make A impossible:

1. pulling my arm hairs out

2. refusing to properly do laundry

3. XBox

4. sweeping distaste for vegetables

5. unfaltering love for his grandpa slippers

Things to learn:

1. crochet

2. cook

3. calm down

Things to settle before graduation:

1. get job

2. get home

3. get fat cat

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