bumps in the road

Today marks one month since A started his new job.  It has proven to be a great fit for him and I am absolutely thrilled.


His hours have gone from the very manageable early morning shift to a strange 2:30 p.m. until whenever in the evening.

How have I dealt with this curveball, you ask?


There was a lot of sobbing.  There was a lot of unintelligible whining about quitting said great job.  There was a lot of loneliness.

We went from working the same job, same hours and being inseparable, to seeing each other for five hours a day on a good day … and one for most of the others.

It was a rough transition, and still proves to be difficult to work around on a daily basis.  But we have come up with a few things that help us get through each day.

1. Post-Its!

These glorious adhesive notes are a necessity in my every day life.  They help me remember.  They help me exert my passive aggressive ways upon others.  And lately they have been keeping us connected.

Especially early on in this new arrangement, it was an imperative that we were able to communicate somehow–regarding lunch preparations or things to do around the house.  Most of the time the only verbal communication we achieve is drowsy mumbling from both of us, so these notes are incredibly important.  And even more important than the logistical or chore notes or just ones to say “I love you.”

2. Schedules

With my new job (yes!  that’s right!  I started a new job as well, about two weeks ago.  I am an assistant at a law firm and am definitely enjoying the fulfilling and educational work as well as my fabulous co-workers.), I have the opportunity to come home for lunch to reconnect with A, who was comatose when I left that morning.  It is nice to be able to make him a fresh packed lunch for work, a “breakfast” when he wakes up, and be able to chat for a little while in my middle of my day and the beginning of his to insure a bright spot. Although it’s a drain on the gas tank to drive back and forth and it does not amount to a lot of time in total, to me it really makes a difference to be able to have a little time to touch base.

For A’s part, he calls or texts every day during his break to tell me about his day and for me to explain his dinner arrangements.  It is so nice to get a message from him while I am hanging out alone at home, just something simple to know he’s thinking about me.

Apart from daily breaks, it is also important to us to make Saturdays special, as they are the only day we have the entirety to ourselves.  We have a fantastic movie theater a few blocks away and we hope to take a summer day trip within the next few months, perhaps to the Dells or Galena.  Unfortunately, that is also the day when many events are planned, including weddings or concerts–which can cause tension.  It is a work in progress, but compromise is always in order.

3. Chores

While this is not the most romantic way to show we are thinking about each other, it is incredibly loving to me.  When I come home and the bed is made and the dishes are done, I could cry.  He has even put laundry away–which I know he hates, but did anyway.  It just shows the little ways we help out when we’re apart and can’t be together.

But for all the bright moments, there are definitely some rocky ones.  We are very much amateurs at this opposite scheduling reality, so any tips would be very much appreciated!  Leave a comment below to help us out in our new reality!


2 thoughts on “bumps in the road

  1. Rebecca Harper June 3, 2011 / 12:37 am

    Cait, I’d say you and A are doing pretty darn well with staying positive about this entire thing. We never experienced something like this, since in all of the jobs we’ve had, we’ve pretty much had the same working hours–sometimes J might come home later than usual, just because of work load. Your use of Post-Its makes me smile, as they too are one of my FAVORITE things, not only for keeping my sanity and things in line, but I LOVE receiving little notes from J. Just keep those lines of communication open, as they will even open up an immense amount of opportunities for your love for reach other to expand and grow. Many prayers and wishes for the both of you! Love you!

    • domesticait June 6, 2011 / 6:36 pm

      Thanks so much Rebecca!
      It definitely wasn’t pretty at the beginning, but it is improving with time. Thanks for the kind thoughts. 🙂

      And say hello to J!

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