the fugitive in our cupboard

As my lovely man is not from the United States, I have encountered several things that make him fascinating, lovable and, at times, capable of compromising the legality of our kitchen cabinets.

Along with mis-pronouncing the word “been” and “scarfing”, having a soft spot for sheep and DESPISING AUSTRALIANS, my wonderful kiwi A also enjoys several strange things that have nestled into a permanent spot on the shelf.  One is a mystery, one is a delight and the other … is illegal.

THE INTERLOPERS!

  1. Custard powder

As is consistent with the other countries who celebrate the Queen’s birthday, custard is a delight.  This velvety, thick dessert is delicious and quite difficult to make.  In fact, during a homestay on the Isle of Wight my sophomore year of college, the couple who invited me into their home integrated monthly custard-making into their vows!  A has been on the hunt for custard powder, even thinking about having it sent to him from the homeland, but we managed to find it in the international aisle of our major grocery store chain. SO when it is presented to you as powder in a can how can you resist?  It also comes in a canned, prepared variety … scary.  We have yet to try it, but it has a place of honor.

2. Golden Syrup

For months last summer, this was all A ate for breakfast. This product is quite similar to honey, but with a slightly different taste.  Sweet, viscous, sticky and irresistible on toast, pancakes or muffins.  Golden syrup comes in a beautiful, majestic metal tin and looks great on the shelf–even if it leaves a tacky ring from the clumsy plopping onto the day’s toast.

If you are a vegan or looking for a honey or corn syrup substitute, try Golden Syrup for a breakfast treat or in your next recipe.

YOU SALTY DOG!

3. Marmite

And here it is, the criminal substance.  Marmite is a “yeast extract” that some use in sauces or as a spread.  A’s mother claims this infernal product is heaven on crumpets with tomatoes.  I will take her word for it.

And I finally felt sweet vindication when Marmite was BANNED by one of the most progressive and scholarly countries of recent note:

DENMARK.

Yes readers, something was rotten and it was the state of this “food”.  According to the UK publication “The Guardian“, Denmark banned Marmite in late May after it determined the extract was too fortified.

WITH EVIL*!

Does anyone know any great Danes willing to nab the contraband in my cabinet?

(oh, and they can take that damn Nutella too)

-c

*actually, B Vitamins …

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One thought on “the fugitive in our cupboard

  1. Whitney MF June 15, 2011 / 9:43 am

    What the hell is wrong with Nutella?

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