Over the last eight months of
blissful, perfect, sustainable cohabitation, A and I have discovered each others multitude of quirks.
I enjoy the word “quirks”. I makes even the most obtuse personality characteristic seem cuddly.
Such as: Mr Gein! You like to upholster your loveseats with human skin? How QUIRKY.
I never realized how much of a princess A is until we moved in together. And I don’t think he could have imagined what a perfect specimen of woman he had attained.
A insists that the television volume must be set at a number divisible by five or two. If I happen to stop at 23, all hell breaks loose.
Shared Quirk? Unfortunately, yes.
Heaven forbid I leave behind my disposable fountain soda cup from one of the delightfully named gas stations (Kum and Go, anyone?). This innocent act is akin to Armageddon as A either huffs his way back to my car to remove the offender or chastises me about my cup holder’s happy partner until I let loose a strangled moose mating call and throw it away myself. As far as leaving garbage in his car? I think I am experiencing PTSD from that.
But it’s not just the cupholders! The insistence of A to perform regular (REGULAR) oil changes, in which the technician apparently pours in a mixture of baby bald eagles and Ming vases into my engine, judging by the price tag, is more important than the fact that I haven’t been to the dentist since the Clinton administration. My tire’s tread wear pattern becomes pillow talk and my lack of turning the gas cap enough times probably keeps him awake at night.
Shared Quirk? HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA
When we are traveling, we often like to listen to podcasts. However, this can almost result in fisticuffs.
Often I like to DISCUSS and impart my WIT AND WISDOM about the topics discussed in the podcasts. When I open my mouth to share delightful thoughts, A heaves a weighty sigh and pauses his Zune–gazing at me not with rapt attention and love, but with a dissolving fuse. This not only happens on treacherous roadways, but also in the comfort of our own home. I have an important (always important) topic to share, politics, Sanskrit translations, finally cutting my toenails, and he will wordlessly reach over, hit pause, and GLARE.
Shared Quirk? YOU CANNOT TAKE THE WORDS FROM ME!
A hates beans. HATES. We buy Hormel Chili with no beans.
Shared Quirk? Miss you, pork and.
And the few A has regarding me:
If You Can’t Take the Heat ….
I enjoy cooking on high heat. I see this as efficient and productive. He has a fire extinguisher strapped to his back.
Shared Quirk? He stays out of the kitchen.
I also have a fondness for forks. They allow me to have control over my food. The act of stabbing soothes me. A does not enjoy eating ice cream with a fork.
Shared Quirk? He eats the ice cream when I choo-choo it into his mouth. VICTORY!
“OVERPROTECTIVE. TO THE NTH DEGREE.”
He won’t elaborate, so I just assume he has no case.
“Toona’s not made of crystal lace,” he said.
Shared Quirk? I am cat-mother of the year.