As you all know, I have taken it upon myself to appear to be more interesting.
Also, dabbling in hobbies will apparently send my fiance into a ne’er before known state of domestic bliss.
Therefore, for the sake of household harmony, I have decided. to learn. TO KNIT.
The (slightly embarrassing) breakdown:
Day One: INVIGORATED. MARCH TO DUSTY KNITTING SUPPLIES WITH! PURPOSE!
Day One, minutes later: Huff off to bed because I have tangled myself in the skein. Whine uncontrollably at A to HELP ME. SOMETHING ISN’T WORKING AND THIS DAMN BOOK CLAIMS I CAN LEARN TO KNIT IN JUST! ONE! DAY! AND THAT IS BULL ROAR. FIX IT.
He looks cornered and wisely remains silent.
Day Two: Return from work to see A happily knitting away. Looks sheepish as I enter. Offers that he learned how for ME! and would I like lessons?
Day Two, minutes later: I am hovering over jar of peanut butter, looking for domestic abilities in its crunchy contents.
Week Two: Toona uses yarn ball as pillow.
Week Three: I fire up some “Hoarders” and “Intervention” and sneak up on my prey. After switching to a new skein (yeah! that’s the problem! GENIUS.) I bumble my way through the first step. HIP THRUST.
Week Three, next day: Figure out the knit stitch. Feel like running through the apartment sans pants.
Week Three, third day of knitting DOMINATION: realize I am making my creation WIDER not LONGER.