My favorite holiday is just around the corner.
It may not be the most orthodox favorite (Christmas-lovers, pssh), but I feel like it is an under-rated, under-adored, PERFECT STORM OF GREATNESS holiday.
Steps to a great Thanksgiving:
(as described to A when he asked what we will do this year)
1. Wake up. Watch parade. Eat Mom’s homemade cinnamon rolls.
2. Help prepare food. (aka watch Mom work magic.)
3. EAT. FOOD.
4. Groan. Sleep. Wait 20 minutes … then eat pie.
5. Watch football.
6. EAT. LEFTOVERS.
I seriously cannot understand anyone who does not count Thanksgiving as a top notch holiday.
The food is second to none. Turkey and green bean casserole and yams and pumpkin pie and THE CRANBERRIES WITH THE CAN LINES. THE CAN LINES!!!
There is much less preparation and stress. (Unless you’re a Mom. Or a turkey.) There are no presents to buy. You don’t have to pretend you’re going to church.
All you are expected to do is eat food, be lazy and shop the next day.
Whenever I walk into a retail store and see Thanksgiving swiftly passed over to make way for that pushy doofus in red, I TOO SEE RED.
The Christmas season does not arrive until Santa rides through New York City on a float, accompanied by half-dressed elves with batons. Wait your turn, you jolly bastard.
So, dear readers. Put aside your Christmas lists and tattered plastic VCR boxes containing “A Muppet Christmas Carol” and revel in the simple delight of gratefulness and gluttony.
ALL HAIL THANKSGIVING.