I am the baby of five. My siblings are 13, 11, 10 and 4 years older than I am.
Therefore, much of my childhood was heavily influenced by my older brothers and sister.
This means my oldest brother purchased a DirecTV All-Day-Ticket of “Pulp Fiction” when I was 6 … and it played ALL DAY. And when I attempted to watch “Pocahontas”, my loving brothers mercilessly tore apart the historical inaccuracies of this cinematic gem until I got up and turned it off.
I was 7.
This also means that when the time came that I finally got to control the remote, I devoured trashy TV (“Laguna Beach” anyone?) and still enjoy BAD entertainment to this day. If given the choice, I will happily snuggle in with some “Bridezillas” or maybe a little “Hoarders”. SUCK IT, SIBS.
However, I have recently come to realize that I am unaware of an entire, seemingly influential, era of films — late 80s and early 90s masterpieces.
“Home Alone” sounds like bad parenting and even worse Edvard Munch impersonations. For some reason Robin Williams is a woman in “Mrs. Doubtfire” … I’m sure there’s a good girdle joke in there? “Back to the Future” appears to have a lot of yelling? “Jurassic Park” sounds like an altogether terrible idea. “Twister”? Flying cow.
So now, as a 26-year-old and possessing control of both my own television and feminine wiles to get The Boss to watch all of this with me– I prepare to embark on a 90s pop culture crash course. SOMEONE GET ME A SCRUNCHIE.
The first movie: “The Goonies”
What I think I know about this movie : Nothing. I am completely baffled by this movie. Everyone I have asked about it speaks reverently. I always thought it was about tiny boys who delivered the mail and then there are gross monsters? And dancing? I have no idea what’s going on … join me.