When you endure the grief of a divorce, losses are well documented.
But since it’s Galentine’s Day (and if you aren’t familiar with this phenomenon, even NPR covered this “holiday” this year), I thought I would focus on the profound gratitude I have felt over the last four months of putting my life back together.
So, thank you:
-To the friend who immediately saved my life. By coming over right after I got the news, GIVING ME A HOUSE (you read that correctly), providing me with a steady stream of homemade dinners and Christmas cookies, supporting my first attempts at dating, being always quick with photos of her beautiful kids and kitties, and introducing me to this poem — the print of which was the last thing I saw before I moved out of my house and which she literally plucked off of her wall and gave to me as a going away present. Thank you, so so much. I met you only weeks before my life ended, but I would not have survived this without you.
-To the people who checked in. Thank you for understanding that I was not mentally or emotionally capable of reaching out and for giving me permission to talk about my grief.
-To the people who didn’t check in. Thank you for showing me who you are during a crisis. It was helpful.
-To politics. Your dysfunction has inspired me to stand up for myself, as a newly single woman again. Nevertheless, she persisted. Thank you.
-To the men I’ve met. It has been … interesting to date again after being part of a couple for seven years, since I was 21. Whether you were aggressive and gross, sweet and awkward, or truly wonderful, I have learned a lot.
-To the people who were insensitive. I know what emotional resilience is now. Thank you.
-To everyone who respected my privacy. It is amazing to me that no beans were spilled in the almost four months between when divorce was requested and when I made the public announcement. Proceeding with the divorce on my terms and being given back some semblance of control was so important to me — thank you for that gift.
-To the public library, which provided me with free entertainment.
-To the bartenders who always made sure I had a drink and who rarely charged me.
-To the City, who accepted my sticky note on the door that said, “I left for Christmas and all hell broke loose. Sorry about the ice! But since it is the season of giving … please give me a break. You’re the best! -c” and to the mystery person who shoveled 14 inches of snow when I was in California. Sometimes living alone for the first time was too much to bear, but you made it easier.
-To the strangers who pretended not to notice the woman crying at the dog park, or the grocery store, or the DMV or at Verizon or the Chinese restaurant or … There’s nothing wrong with crying — thank you for letting me let it out.
-To the people who said, “Good for you honey. Don’t look back.” or “I’m rooting for you.” or “I’m proud of you”. Words matter. Thank you.
-To peanut butter and wine. Thank you for being my two major food groups.
-To him. Thank you for setting me free.
Tomorrow is the big day! Planning on setting out on my road trip on Valentine’s Day (MF poetic, right?). Follow along on this blog and on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram! I feel important enough to create a hashtag for the occasion, so watch out for #wherestheBeef !