So on Monday I was handed the keys to a very large vehicle and trusted to safely drive it across the country.
They didn’t ask me if I’ve ever fallen asleep behind the wheel and crashed a vehicle or if I have ever tried to argue against another parking ticket because there was a grammatical error or if I’ve ever ran out of gas on the Interstate.
All they asked was for my driver’s license. And my credit card, of course.
So now I am in the middle of Day 3 of my National Lampoon’s Relocation, and I have discovered a few things about myself in a U-Haul:
- I feel a strange kinship with other U-Haul drivers. However, they do not feel the same and do not return my frantic waving.
- Not driving the speed limit is slowing KILLING ME.
- I almost forgot how to manually roll down a window.
- And how to drive without cruise control.
- And what it’s like not to have a CD player in a vehicle (SERIOUSLY U-HAUL WTF).
- I am a GD genius when it comes to packing this rig. Look upon this strategy!
- I thought traveling with the pets was going to be a disaster, but looking over at Beef and Chop spooning in the passenger seat or Chop staring at me with her goofy, open-mouthed smile or sticking my fingers into Tuna’s kennel and feeling him rub his cheeks against my hand makes my heart explode.
- Probably should not drive in the left lane, no matter how much I love it.
- I feel pretty badass driving this thing. Like an Ice Road Trucker. Or Bruce Springsteen. Or a woman whose nails are always painted.
- And also I cannot wait to purchase a small vehicle when I get to California. Like maybe a moped.
The plan is still to reach Utah tonight. I’ll catch you back here to re-cap Day 3!