Here at the hotel after the longest day yet on the road. Thankfully, the 10 hour-drive had some of the most beautiful scenery I have ever seen in the United States:
The best way I can think to summarize this big day is through LISTICLE! (which is dirtier than it sounds.)
Things I literally said out loud
- “CHOP DO NOT FALL INTO THE CANYON.”
- “Is that a Rocky? Wait … is THAT a Rocky? Why haven’t they labeled the Rockies?”
- “All sorts of warnings for trucks … am I a truck? Should I follow those speed limits? Fuck it, I’m a truck.”
- “Everything smells like the Devil’s Lettuce. How much secondhand pot smoke does it take to be impaired?”
- “HOLY SHIT IS THAT A WOLF.”
Strange signs I saw in the mountains
- “Watch for falling rocks/wildlife” (seems like a grammatical error, but there may be raccoons raining from the sky I’ve never been to Colorado before)
- “Runaway truck ramp”
- “Elk herd migration next 25 miles”
- “No services for the next 109 miles” — translation, PEE NOW.
- “Don’t be fooled! Declines continue for 7 miles.”
- “Drowsy driver? TAKE THIS EXIT.”
- “Eagles on Highway”
Songs on heavy rotation
- Anything on the “La La Land” soundtrack
- “Used to Love You” — Gwen Stefani
- “Send My Love (to Your New Lover)” — Adele
- “This Never Happened Before” — Paul McCartney
- “My Spirit Sang All Day”
Canyons we saw
- Black Dragon Canyon (pictured in the slideshow above)
- Salt Lick Canyon
- I Know It’s Another Canyon and You Have a Super Long Day But GDammit I’m a Beautiful Canyon You Should Probably Pull Over
- To the guy who rolled down his window, turned off his radio and waved at me when he heard me singing at the world’s longest red light in Denver. Made my day!
- To my former neighbor, who is a real-life truck driver, who reminded me that I am taller than normal. At first, I thought he was sharing some empowering feminist thoughts with me as I left on my journey, but he was literally reminding me not to run the U-Haul into drive-thrus, etc.
- To pet-friendly hotels. Just THANK YOU for welcoming them as family members. Highly recommend Red Roof Inn and La Quinta for anyone traveling with pets.
- To Spotify, for keeping me sane.
- To all of the people who continue to interact with me on social media and reach out with their well wishes. It definitely kept me going on today’s marathon drive!
This is it. Tomorrow is the day. We have another 9 hours until we reach our new home. Unless we get pulled into the siren song of Las Vegas and decide to become showgirls, that is. See you at the beach!